Worst dates

John and I were talking about past dating experiences, especially the bad ones and he thinks that I should write some of them down so that they aren't forgotten. I thought I'd start off with the absolute worst dating experience I can remember.

I was taking a general music class at then UVSC and that is where I met HIM. I don't remember his name and lets be honest I don't want to. He asked me out numerous times, to which I politely declined and changed the subject as quickly as possible. My car was in the shop one week so my Mom had to come pick me up from school. He decided to walk me to where Mom was picking me up, no matter how much I protested. Then he insisted that he walk me outside to her. I was frustrated but how do you tell a nearly 200 lb guy that is six foot something that he's a retard?

But wait, it gets better. . . 

When we get to the car he leans in the passenger side window and proceeds to ask my mom if he can take me on a date. (What the $#%@ was he thinking?) I was standing behind him shaking my head as violently as possible. But what does mom say? She tells him yes and the date is set right then and there. I could've killed all of them.

So mom takes me a drops me off at his house, because my car is still in the shop, the night of the date. Not only is he not ready, but he's working on his car stereo. So, he makes me wait with his dad in trash-ville USA while he goes and showers. Can we say awkward? 

. . . wait for it, we're not done yet.

When he finally finishes we get into his car and leave. You know that creepy feeling you get when you're with someone and you don't know how the hell you're going to get out of it, I was there times about 20.

He hands me his CD case and tells me to pick a CD. I thumb through it and the only thing I find worth listening to is The Beastie Boys. When I hand it to him, he tells me that girls can't listen to them because it is inappropriate. (Are you joking?) So, no music. Somehow we got to the point where he tells me that he has the Priesthood and so I have to listen to him. That went over like a lead balloon. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not going to take that and not say anything. I informed him that even with the Priesthood he wasn't getting into the Celestial Kingdom without a wife, so he'd better think twice before using that line again.

Don't you think he's set up the date well?

He takes me to Olive Garden, somewhere near Salt Lake City. It was prom night and there were large numbers of people all dressed up and looking great. We were sitting there eating and he signals for the lady that sings to come over and sing to us. (Again, are you joking? But it gets better.) She starts singing and then HE starts singing with her, to ME. I could've died, I would've crawled under the table and hidden had I thought that at the very least half the restaurant wasn't watching me do it.

FINALLY we get out of the restaurant. Now I'm stuck in the car with him AGAIN. We drive to watch the symphony at Temple Square and he parks at the top of a hill three blocks away, never mind that I'm actually wearing heals, which I told him, but he obviously didn't care. We get into the symphony and he falls asleep. I understand not being able to stay awake, if you're an old man, but really? Then he tops it off by snoring. Yes, he was snoring in the middle of the symphony. 

Okay, you're thinking to yourself, that's the worst date ever? It wasn't over. Keep reading.

We're heading back to Utah Valley and home, sweet home. But he decides to stop at his sisters house and introduce me. She was newly married and I still don't know why we were going there. He knocks a few times and when she doesn't answer he tries the door handle. I stopped him, who in their right mind walks into a newly married couples house? He agrees to leave and I'm getting excited that I get to go home. 

But we're not done. . . 

He gets on the phone and calls his friends to meet him at another friends house. So, we go and meet ALL his friends and their girlfriends/wives. They all sit in a circle and I'm the center of attention, awkward. We were stuck there for over an hour and all I wanted was to go home. Finally he takes me home and tries to walk me to the door, I avoided anything he was thinking of by basically shutting the door in his face. I ignored his phone calls for the next three weeks and that class as well.

I've seen him a few times since with someone I assume is his wife and each time I think to myself that she's either completely miserable or a raging idiot for marrying him in the first place.