Fun stories

Don't let the sweet little face fool you, she's running her brain at twice the normal speed.

She wanted to make a pool for her barbies outside the other day and I told her no.

I was on the phone at the time, so I wasn't interested in debating it but that didn't matter to her.

After a few more no responses she finally said: "Can we talk about it when you get off the phone?"

Who wouldn't agree to that? I was able to finish my conversation in peace and she was content that the subject wasn't dropped. The moment, and I mean the exact moment I got off the phone she was ready to have her discussion. She started off stating that she wanted to play with water, and I said the answer was still no. After doing this a couple of times she said: "When you're talking about something you're not allowed to say no." She was then ready to me to start the conversation again. Where do you start a conversation that is going to end in the same manner no matter where you start? So, I told her I wasn't sure what to say, maybe she'd better start. She explained what she wanted and when she was done she made sure to remind me that I wasn't allowed to say no because we were discussing it. (I didn't laugh at her, I really wanted to, but I kept control of myself.) I explained the reasons why I didn't think that playing in water was a good idea that day and when I finished she sat there for about half a minute before she responded: "What if I gave you some of my monies?" (I couldn't not laugh.) I told her no, she came back with a back massage, letting me sleep in and letting me have a movie day - all day. I'm not sure where she learned her negotiation skills, but I was dying by the time we finished our conversation. 

Just so you know, she did NOT get to play with barbies and water that day.

My Very Bad, No Good, Horrible Wake-up Call

5:38 a.m. - Prior to the sun rising there was a family of birds having a very animated conversation right outside my bedroom window. Aren't they supposed to wait for the sun to rise?

5:39 - I began wondering why we didn't own a gun, a shotgun to be specific.

5:41 - I began pondering how much it would cost to buy said gun with some ammo.

5:43 - Tried to come up with a way to convince John to let me buy a gun.

5:44 - Realized I'd have to wait for a background check, wondered if I could get a gun much quicker if I bribed the guy behind the counter with my nonexistent excess cash.

5:45 - Chuckled when I thought of them being mockingbirds.

5:47 - Thought about running outside in my underwear to scare them away.

5:48 - Realized that they'd just come right back and probably be louder while they all laughed about what they'd just seen.

Then they went away, oh happy day. If they come back and wake me up again I will have to take action, maybe alka seltzer pellets. (It seems mean, but if they keep waking me up, there may be no other option.)